So, I am in the lobby of my work building today, which is partly residential and partly commercial. I follow someone else in and at first she refuses to let me come after her. I give her an "I can't believe you" look and then she asks pointedly, "Do you belong here?" I say yes, and then make a big show out of taking my keys out and opening my boss's mailbox. The lady looks embarrassed and starts mumbling about security and then says all snottily, "Well, I'm sure you appreciate my concern for the building's security." Actually, Ms. Bitchy, I don't. Because even if I were breaking into the building, I would have said I belonged there. Duh. And I'm pretty sure she wouldn't have said anything if I looked rich, which, obviously I do not. This is not the first time this has happened to me here, so let me spell it out for you richies: If you are so concerned with disheleved 20-somethings intruding on your property, get a freaking doorman. You're rich enough. God.

Surprise.

I am saddened, and honestly kind of numb about the violence that occurred at Virgina Tech today. But I am not surprised. I was shocked and horrified and scared when those little kids shot up their school in Jonesboro, Arkansas. I remember watching the endless coverage of that tragedy, by myself, after school in my parents' house. When Columbine occurred, I was about to graduate high school. I was really, really shocked and shook up by that and to this day, I can recite some of the news coverage word for word. Then, when that gunman took over the Amish school last year, I was shocked and horrified once again. But that particular shooting turned a switch in me. At the time, I tried to make sense of my feelings by writing a long, angry, rambling post which I never published. Perhaps I will revisit that post once the numbness of this current tragedy has worn off. Basically, the executions at the Amish school made me realize that we can expect more gun violence in schools in this country — even in the Amish countryside. Even on Native American reservations. Even at Virginia Tech. So when I heard the news today, I wasn't surprised. Saddened, yes, but not surprised.