. . . me, because I watched a freaking marathon of this dumbass show last weekend. I have written about my distatse for The Biggest Loser before, but it's like a trainwreck I have to keep watching it. Again and again and again.

There is so much I hate about this show, it's hard to know where to start. So I'll start with what I like: I like seeing the relationships that develop among the teammates. I like seeing the family reunions. I like the updates at the end that show how well the eliminated contestants are doing.

I hate, hate, hate the stupid eliminations and the dramatic weigh-ins and all the psychological manipulation of the contestants. It's like The Biggest Loser wants to have it both ways: you can't set people up for humilation and paint a picture of heartwarming life changes at the same time. It's totally damaging because it paints an incomplete picture of realistically losing weight. For example, they never show a complete training regimen that includes warming up and cooling down. I saw a trainer shut off a treadmill with no cooldown while a 300+ pound guy was running at 5 mph! Another time, a woman on the elliptical announced that her heart rate was at 186. Is this healthy? When I exercise with a heart rate monitor, it starts beeping like crazy when I get anywhere near that high. This whole show is nightmare for viewers with eating disorders, with all the numbers that are constantly thrown about, like "heart rate of 186" and "17 pounds lost in one week." Then there's the crazy psychological manipulation, like forcing contestants to choose between calling their families or wrecking their diets by eating huge, gooey danishes. Plus, people work out until they puke and it's presented as a good thing. There is not much healthy about the way "healthy lifestyles" are presented on this show.

If someone asked me to make a game show about weight loss, I would have made something totally different. Yeah, no one asked me to make anything and if they did, a game show about weight loss would totally not be my first choice, but anyway — here's what I'd do.

I would not have people move to an isolated ranch. Maybe there would be a one-week training retreat or something, but for the most part, I would have people stay in their normal lives and work with trainers in their towns. I would not cut anyone off from their families; instead, I'd get whole families involved making healthier food choices and exercising together. I would not objectify the contestants by making them partially undress for weigh-ins with pounding King Kong-type music in the background. I would not make the contestants participate in humiliating challenges, like pulling cars around a track. In my show, contestants' progress would be gauged much less frequently, perhaps once every six weeks or so, using measurements and body fat percentages and increased strength and stamina, etc. It would be all about getting from point A to B, not competing against someone of a different gender with different metabolism, different abilities and different issues. I would have doctors and therapists clearly visible on the show, explaining things like joint pain and water weight and pyschological distress from public humiliation. The winner would be announced a year or two later, so it's not about rapid weight loss from crash dieting and over-exercising but rather about achieving and sustaining an appropriate goal.

Yeah, yeah, my show would never get on NBC. Apparently people would rather watch drama, manipulation and physical and emotional suffering. Too bad. By the way for the best, most balanced, non-judgmental program about weight, check out PBS's Fat: What No One Is Telling You. I loved it because over and over again, people shouted out my refrain: Everyone Is Different!