. . . and his name is Cohutta.

I swore a million times I would never watch the stupid unnecessary drama fest that is The Real World ever again, but it was a hundred eleventy-two degrees last night and I just didn't have the strength to change the channel. I don't regret it, though, because Cohutta just might be my favorite person to ever appear on TV. At first I thought he was a hired actor playing an adorable country bumpkin — I literally could not stop laughing at everything he said. Highlights: his bewilderment over why his new roommates couldn't pronounce his name; his comparing himself to Crocodile Dundee; his calling his dad (granddad?) back in Georgia and exclaiming how the Real World house was the nicest place he'd ever lived and dad/granddad drawling back, "Well, you've only lived in them two places." AND — there was actually footage of him doing dishes! Cohutta, you're the best!

Unfortunately, from the previews, I see that my new friend is going to engage in some yelling, but I promise (again) not to be watching this stupid show, so he can remain pure and awesome in my mind.