I am so excited to hear that Rachel Maddow is getting her own show on MSNBC, starting in September! She'll be on after Keith Olbermann instead of that shouty lawyer guy who's on now. This is great news for anyone who likes real news coverage: Maddow is a policy wonk, not a pundit. And she's not full of herself like Olbermann. Nor does she shout like Chris Matthews. Nor does she stumble over the teleprompter while making sexy faces like some of the daytime newsbimbo hosts. I'm hoping she'll be the savior of Cable TV news. Read more about her offbeat path to cable news host in this awesome article from The Nation.

I decided to write a post.

I thought I was done blogging. Every single day, I think of something really great to share, word it perfectly in my head and then refuse to write it down. There are a lot of reasons why I don't: I stare at this screen all day for work and don't feel like staring at it afterwards, I realize whatever I'm trying to say has already been said a million times or just really isn't that important, people who know me can find out what I'm up to by reading Albert's blog, etc. etc. So why today? Do I have something important to say that no one else has ever said? Of course not. I have absolutely nothing to say. I am just breaking my seal for when I do have something to say. I realized I am not ready to completely abandon this blog . . . so here I am. And here are some interesting things:

My friend Shannon has an awesome blog about her fish. I love this girl. She is a frickin genius.

Courtney Martin reads my mind.

The second season of Mad Men premieres tonight! This is one of the best shows I have ever seen, and it is hands down the best thing on TV right now. It's kind of dark and melodramatic, but every episode is like a beautifully filmed movie in and of itself, and what else do you have to do at 10:00 on a Sunday night?

As of last night, I have a new favorite show. Normally I love the checking out new shows as soon as they air, but this semester has been rather busy for me. My new job is 100 times more interesting than my old one, but it is a lot more demanding as well. I am trying my hardest to graduate this semester, and that's really hard because in my head I have already graduated and in reality I have two classes and three comprehensive exams to complete. And, as a result, I have been kind of all over the place and indiscriminate in my television choices lately. I have never been ashamed of my love of terrible television, but lately it has gotten out of hand. All I have been watching is The Real World, America's Next Top Model (and for some reason, I just can't get into it this season), and endless reruns of various shows about families with too many kids on TLC. I watch Countdown with Keith Olbermann sometimes, and I fall asleep most nights during the commercial breaks of either The Daily Show or The Colbert Report. I haven't watched anything that requires concentration — if I can't do twenty other things while watching it, then I don't want any part of it.

This weekend I was able to catch up on The Office online (funny, funny show!) and then, while scamming my shamefully pathetic On Demand options (Hey Comcast: why don't you let me watch Logo or The N anymore?!? Boooooo!) I decided to give AMC's Mad Men a chance. . . and I ended up giving it three chances. It is a complex show with delightfully unsympathetic characters and a ton of visual interest — particularly when it comes to the costumes. If you have time to actually sit down and watch television, I highly recommend it. The episodes are filmed like little movies, and it's easy to watch two or three in a row. In fact, I am hoping to watch a couple more tonight.

. . . and his name is Cohutta.

I swore a million times I would never watch the stupid unnecessary drama fest that is The Real World ever again, but it was a hundred eleventy-two degrees last night and I just didn't have the strength to change the channel. I don't regret it, though, because Cohutta just might be my favorite person to ever appear on TV. At first I thought he was a hired actor playing an adorable country bumpkin — I literally could not stop laughing at everything he said. Highlights: his bewilderment over why his new roommates couldn't pronounce his name; his comparing himself to Crocodile Dundee; his calling his dad (granddad?) back in Georgia and exclaiming how the Real World house was the nicest place he'd ever lived and dad/granddad drawling back, "Well, you've only lived in them two places." AND — there was actually footage of him doing dishes! Cohutta, you're the best!

Unfortunately, from the previews, I see that my new friend is going to engage in some yelling, but I promise (again) not to be watching this stupid show, so he can remain pure and awesome in my mind.

. . . me, because I watched a freaking marathon of this dumbass show last weekend. I have written about my distatse for The Biggest Loser before, but it's like a trainwreck I have to keep watching it. Again and again and again.

There is so much I hate about this show, it's hard to know where to start. So I'll start with what I like: I like seeing the relationships that develop among the teammates. I like seeing the family reunions. I like the updates at the end that show how well the eliminated contestants are doing.

I hate, hate, hate the stupid eliminations and the dramatic weigh-ins and all the psychological manipulation of the contestants. It's like The Biggest Loser wants to have it both ways: you can't set people up for humilation and paint a picture of heartwarming life changes at the same time. It's totally damaging because it paints an incomplete picture of realistically losing weight. For example, they never show a complete training regimen that includes warming up and cooling down. I saw a trainer shut off a treadmill with no cooldown while a 300+ pound guy was running at 5 mph! Another time, a woman on the elliptical announced that her heart rate was at 186. Is this healthy? When I exercise with a heart rate monitor, it starts beeping like crazy when I get anywhere near that high. This whole show is nightmare for viewers with eating disorders, with all the numbers that are constantly thrown about, like "heart rate of 186" and "17 pounds lost in one week." Then there's the crazy psychological manipulation, like forcing contestants to choose between calling their families or wrecking their diets by eating huge, gooey danishes. Plus, people work out until they puke and it's presented as a good thing. There is not much healthy about the way "healthy lifestyles" are presented on this show.

If someone asked me to make a game show about weight loss, I would have made something totally different. Yeah, no one asked me to make anything and if they did, a game show about weight loss would totally not be my first choice, but anyway — here's what I'd do.

I would not have people move to an isolated ranch. Maybe there would be a one-week training retreat or something, but for the most part, I would have people stay in their normal lives and work with trainers in their towns. I would not cut anyone off from their families; instead, I'd get whole families involved making healthier food choices and exercising together. I would not objectify the contestants by making them partially undress for weigh-ins with pounding King Kong-type music in the background. I would not make the contestants participate in humiliating challenges, like pulling cars around a track. In my show, contestants' progress would be gauged much less frequently, perhaps once every six weeks or so, using measurements and body fat percentages and increased strength and stamina, etc. It would be all about getting from point A to B, not competing against someone of a different gender with different metabolism, different abilities and different issues. I would have doctors and therapists clearly visible on the show, explaining things like joint pain and water weight and pyschological distress from public humiliation. The winner would be announced a year or two later, so it's not about rapid weight loss from crash dieting and over-exercising but rather about achieving and sustaining an appropriate goal.

Yeah, yeah, my show would never get on NBC. Apparently people would rather watch drama, manipulation and physical and emotional suffering. Too bad. By the way for the best, most balanced, non-judgmental program about weight, check out PBS's Fat: What No One Is Telling You. I loved it because over and over again, people shouted out my refrain: Everyone Is Different!

I caught two episodes of Work Out on Bravo last night. I enjoyed the last season, probably because it made me feel happy to live a drama-free and fatty food-filled life. I should have turned it off after the first episode because it is a seriously annoying show. Some of the trainers are so unprofessional! There was one scene where two trainers were going on and on about some personal drama while a client sat at a weight machine in the background like, "Um, hello?" Seriously. I don't know how much these trainers cost, but I'm guessing it's a lot, and if I was spending a gazillion dollars an hour for a trainer, I'd ask for a refund for the time wasted listening to their beautiful people bullshit drama. I am so thankful to be far removed from unnecessary drama and obsession with appearance.

I was on Spring Break this week, which means I flew to Cancun and got drunk and ended up on Girls Gone Wild. . . except, no. Actually, I continued to work full-time, so it really wasn't that much of a break at all, except I ended up getting home early and instead of using this time productively, I decided to wrap myself up in a new-to-me TV show: The Gilmore Girls, reruns of which are shown weekdays at 5 on The Family Channel.

I had seen this show before and found it kind annoying yet enjoyable. The enjoyable part is mostly drooling over Lauren Graham's gazillion dollar wardrobe. The characters themselves are super annoying: Lorelai is irritating and self-involved and Rory is meek and in desparate need of a backbone. And also, who talks like this, with the crazy fast pace and all the pop culture references? As someone who grew up in a very different version of small town Connecticut, I cringe at all the shticky neighborly characters and messed up geopgraphical references. Why did Norman Mailer go on this show? Hell, why did Sebastien Bach go on this show? And the million dollar question: why did I watch this show almost every day last week? I don't know. I do know, however, that the reruns are being shown out of order, which just increases my curiosity. It's back to school for me this week, so I won't be tuning in to my new friends in Stars Hollow. And I know this show is actually still on the air, but I have a feeling it's gotten less enjoyable and more annoying and I don't need another show in my prime-time lineup. So adios Gilmore Girls . . . till we meet again.

I was flipping through the channels the other day, and I came across a new show on MTV called Maui Fever. I guess it is to Laguna Beach what Road Rules is to The Real World. Except then where does The Hills fit? Maui Fever follows (hold your breath - big surprise coming up!) a bunch of rich white kids in Hawaii. I didn't look up their bios, but I am going to guess some, if not most of them are not originally from Hawaii. In any case, pretty much every show on MTV now follows the exact same formula: rich, spoiled skinny girls and muscly guys drink, party, and hook-up in lavish surroundings, then cause unnecessary drama which usually revolves around some drunken misunderstanding or some drunken hook-up. I am not at all against drinking or getting it on, but I am very much against causing or exacerbating ridiculous drama. Which is why I couldn't finish watching this show. And just one of a million reasons why I would never be invited to appear on this type of show.

MTV, you're breaking my heart. I remember when I was growing up, we didn't get you, so I would go to friends' houses and watch you play videos, with your weird VJ's and your House of Style and Real World casts who talked about politics and had real jobs . . . and later, even after you started getting crappy, you redeemed yourself a little with Daria, which felt way too much like my life for a cartoon. RIP, MTV.

During busy times like now, I actually watch more TV than usual, because instead of watching shows that I planned to watch, I will just turn on the TV when I am exhausted and flip around and zone out in front of any dumb-ass program out there. Here's a sampling of all the dumb-assery I've been absorbing lately:

While flipping through the channels last week, I saw a promo for a crappy looking drama One Tree Hill on the new! CW! Philly! and thought the creepy English teacher sleeping with his student looked familiar. It was my old roommate, Reynaldo! The summer before I turned 21, I took a chance and moved into an apartment over a welding shop that was inhabited by a revolving cast of extreme characters. I thought Rey was a no-good womanizer until one night when we rented Crossroads and drunkenly performed the karaoke songs on the Extras DVD. Soon, we were sharing a mattress on the bedroom floor of two gay opera singers. One thing that's cool about going to art school is that sometimes when you flip channels, you see your old friends.

The other day, I caught the movie Election on E. I loved it. I am normally not a fan of Chris Klein, but he rocked that dumb-but-nice jock role hard. I also have only recently begun to warm up to Reese Witherspoon, but I think I would have liked her a lot sooner if I had seen this movie earlier.

I'm digging the new season of The Office. I don't know how I feel about all the new characters, but I like watching the love triangle stuff. What I do not love, however, is the blantant Staples product placement. Even if this show can get kind of goofy at times, I think the acting is spectacular.

For some reason, I still tune into America's Next Top Model even though I can't actively care about anyone on the show. It's not even like past seasons, where the contestants were so distasteful it was worth tuning in. These girls are just, you know, okay. And the shoots are getting more and more ridiculous. Float in a wind tunnel wearing a spaceman suit? I don't get it. I also don't get Miss J. S/he is so annoying, and never has anything at all constructive to say. Also, I have gotten so familiar with Tyra's weird logic that I can accurately predict the exact order of the line-up at the end. I don't know what that says about me.

I also caught, for the first time, The Biggest Loser. I was pretty much horrified. Although I can see how it could be inspiring to watch people lose weight, why does this show have to be filmed in such a way that makes it look like people lose 15 pounds in a week? That is not healthy. I guess it's not fun to watch people gradually lose weight in a realistic manner with the loving support of the people around them. Instead this show has all this drama and manipulation. It's like watching the Real World/Road Rules Challenge, which I really do not like but will sometimes watch just to see catty bitches fall into water, which seems to happen all the time.

I have been tuning into Countdown with Keith Olbermann more and more. I dig him, but I don't dig all his weird graphics and commercial interruptions.

I am not liking Paula's Party. I am a huuuuuuugge Paula Dean fan, but I don't think she's so good in this kind of live-audience settings. It breaks the intimacy of her whole "from my kitchen to yours" schtick. Plus, Paula, God, enough with the sexual innuedo. Um, hello, TMI! Yuck.

I like watching Little People, Big World, but this season seems to be all about taking extravagent trips and buying expensive stuff. Yeah, I can't relate. The first season was a lot better, in my opinion.

I'm embarrassed to say that I really like Gene Simmons' Family Jewels. I am especially sorry to say that I particularly enjoy Gene Simmons. I like how loving and open the family is, and how well adjusted (and good lookin') the kids are. And the joke is on Gene Simmons most of the time, but he still comes off as a sort of sympathetic character.

I have never laughed so hard at TV as I did at last night's Celebrity Jeopardy! featuring Martin Short, Joely Fischer and Mario Cantone. I didn't find the guests particularly funny, but the whole thing was just uncannily like one of those Will Ferrel SNL skits. The questions were easy as hell; Martin Short kept buzzing in with totally ridiculous answers; at one point, Mario Cantone ran out from behind his podium and did a little dance. . . It was just out-of-control. The whole time, Alex Trebec was trying to play it cool and not become a parody of himself, but you could tell he thought they were total dipshits. Oh man, was it funny.

Now, if you'll excuse me, it's Saturday morning, and I'm watching. . . Clean Sweep.

I am not the biggest fan of O'Reilly or Oprah, but I generally prefer Oprah. Let me rephrase: I have issues with Oprah, but I cannot stand O'Reilly. The reasons I don't like him have less to do with politics and more to do with his bully-ing style. But he would probably say I am just a "Fox Hater" or an "S-P" that wants to go live in Holland. I'm writing as I watch. . .

* Did O'Reilly just say he was the fifth or sixth most powerful person in the world? Is he serious? I honestly can't tell.

* O'Reilly tells us there is no middle ground in the culture war, and if you go to his site and take this test you will see that you are either a T(raditional)-Warrior or an S-P (secular-progressive). My results said: "You have some S-P beliefs, but have not yet committed to either side." No, I think I'm pretty much an S-P. I just think his questions were worded in a stupid way. According to O'Reilly, how you feel about parental notification in the case of underage abortion is a good indicator of whether or not you are a T-Warrior or an S-P. I think it's a little more complicated than that. Maybe that's because I don't believe there is a culture war. Because I am a loony S-P pacifist. Or at least a culture war concientious objector.

* I have never seen so many dudes in Oprah's audience. Why aren't the women speaking? Four guys in a row just spoke (three apparently moderate and questioning of Bill, one "T-Warrior").

* Lady in the black sweater, I think I love you.

* O'Reilly thinks the ACLU is the most dangerous organization in America. Oprah is pissed that the ACLU defended NAMBLA. O'Reilly says that the ACLU is a political organization, not an advocacy group. Didn't the ACLU come out in support of Rush Limbaugh that one time?

* Another dude is talking? Are only men qualified to talk about politics? I didn't see the Frank Rich episode, was that like this too?

* O'Reilly hates the media. The press is hyper-partisan and not trustworthy. TV News is a bunch of politically correct phonies. Pro-life people cannot exist in network news. No one would talk to a conservative at The New York Times. [That must be very sad for David Brooks.] O'Reilly says to watch Letterman tonight, because Letterman attacks O'Reilly and O'Reilly takes the high road. I will be sure to watch.

* O'Reilly tells a T-Warrior woman to remain calm and strong in her beliefs. My girlfriend, black sweater lady who is friends with T-Warrior lady, tells O'Reilly his advice is bogus because he himself doesn't remain calm. O'Reilly tells her that's because he has to attract an audience.

* O'Reilly says terrorists in Iraq blow up babies. A woman in the audience notes that the U.S. military bombed cities in Iraq and civilians were killed. O'Reilly says that's not true. The woman points out that even by Bush's conservative estimates, 30,000 civilians have been killed. O'Reilly asks her if she thinks that we're the bad guys in Iraq. The woman says there are no bad guys in Iraq, the bad guys are in Washington, D.C.

* Another woman brings up civilian deaths of women and children. O'Reilly asks her if she knows how many women and children Saddam Hussein killed. The woman asks, calmly, if that gives us the right to kill even one.

* O'Reilly says we need to wise up and see the danger of Iran because they will sell wmd's to terrorists who will use it to blow up Cleveland. Really, Cleveland? He thinks North Korea can be contained by China. He thinks Bush caught a bad break with 9/11 and he does not blame Clinton, because he's not a "blame guy."

* O'Reilly says this is the best show he's been on. He's right about that: he is going to sell a gazillion books from this.